I’m sure you’ve heard that parents should put their own oxygen mask on first before helping their kids. This rings especially true at the moment, whilst we are staying at home during level 4 restrictions. In order to best look after your whānau and keep them feeling calm, you first need to prioritise looking after your own hauora and wellbeing.

Here are a few ways that you can ensure you are looking after yourself at home:

Organise your schedule

Our typical daily routines are practically impossible to follow right now which can lead to days feeling all over the show! Creating an “at-home” new routine may help you feel as though there is structure amongst the chaos and uncertainty. If you have tamariki who need continuous attention and there are multiple adults at home, perhaps you can organise a schedule to split the childcare time. This way, you both have time alone that you can dedicate to work and self-care. Having a break all together throughout the day, for example, to go for a family walk, is also a great idea.

If this isn’t possible, don’t be afraid to relax the rules and allow your tamariki to have some extra screen time. We’re all in a very unique situation and some extra screen time won’t hurt and will give you and the kids some well-needed downtime. Guide your kids to make good choices about what they watch - there’s heaps of great educational content out there! However, make sure to keep an eye on what your kids are watching. See some more tips for alert levels 3 & 4 here.

Focus on what you can control

Try writing down 3 things you’re grateful for at the end of each day. These don’t need to be huge, they could be as small as having a quick call with a friend or a cup of tea.

You could also write down your stresses and worries as they arise through the day. At the end of the day look at these again and ask yourself “which of these can I control?”. Focus on the things that are within your control and put together an action plan.  If you can’t control it, try your best to acknowledge how you feel about it and let these feelings come and go as needed.

Try your best to stay present, rather than focussing on the past or future. This is a great technique to reduce fear, worry, and stress. But be kind to yourself - this isn’t always easy straight away and can require practise.

Stay in touch

We’re all in this together! Having to stay inside for the majority of your day can be hard, but self-isolation doesn’t need to mean social-isolation! Call or message your friends and whānau, send silly memes, arrange virtual playdates with your child’s friends, connect with other parents to exchange ideas about how to make the most of this time, or even contact your child’s teacher if you need some extra help with homeschooling. Everybody is going through something similar, and even if you’re doing okay, your friend might need a chat. A quick catch up can do wonders to your mood.   

Prioritise your wellbeing

Keep yourself in a healthy sleep and exercise routine. Set clear boundaries around work time -  it’s easy to let the lines between work and personal life blur when you’re working from home. Try to fit in some activities which restore you, such as reading, journaling, meditation, or other hobbies you love, and try to limit mindless scrolling on social media. The most important thing is that you’re taking time to do something you want to do, even if it’s just for 5 minutes. Be kind to yourself if you’re not as productive during this time; things won’t be perfect at the moment, but it’s only temporary. 

Maintain healthy relationships

We’re seeing a lot more of our loved ones at the moment which can be wonderful but can also bring it’s challenges!

Things can seem a lot bigger under pandemic conditions, so mentally check in with yourself to make sure you’re not sweating the small stuff. Of course boundaries are still important, however we have to be understanding of what everybody is going through in such unusual times. 

A good tool to use in these situations when you or your loved one’s emotions are running wild is ‘Pause, Hold, Engage’. Pause and take 10 breaths, hold and notice what you (or your loved one) is feeling in that moment, name it and accept it, and then finally engage. Discuss why you are both feeling a certain way and focus on finding a solution to the problem.

If your mental health is in decline and you’re really struggling, be sure to reach out for help. Talk to somebody you trust, book a consult with your doctor, or ring a helpline to speak to someone. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed in the uncertain times we are in and there’s no shame in asking for the help you need. 

Healthline - call or text 1737

Depression Helpline - 0800 111 757

Youthline - text 234, call 0800 376 633

 https://mentalhealth.org.nz/getting-through-together/wellbeing-for-parents-and-whanau